Difficult people are sometimes called ‘heavenly sandpaper’ or we label them ‘EGR’ (extra grace required…).  How ever we try to generate a positive attitude around them, they exist and we need to deal with them wherever we go.

When I was dealing with one such person, a friend said to me “You’re all alone in the way that you feel. You and about a million others.”  The truth is this, we’re all difficult to someone just as others are difficult to us – so I guess these twelve steps should apply first to ourselves!  Also, we’re not alone in our frustrations and relationship hiccups.  Every day, people have to deal with exasperating relationships and laborious expectations from bosses, coleagues and friends. But, these people have lives, friends, spouses and colleagues too – so they can’t be all that bad…  which means that there must be a way to deal with them productively.  (note:  there is a difference between a difficult personality and a toxic person; difficult people can be worked with, toxic people will drain you of all you’re worth – so be careful!)

Bryce Christiansen has these words of advice for us:

1. Identify their difficult-ness

Just what is it about them that you find so “difficult?” Think back to the original situation when you officially classified them as such. Make sure that your assessment is the result of a pattern of demonstrated behavior, and not the result of a single interaction upon which you’ve been focusing. Once you’re sure, there’s a pattern, come up with a few examples.
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